Thursday, January 14, 2016

Classic Novels Retitled as Clickbait--Number 2 Will Blow Your Mind!

We all know that no one reads anymore. Well, they do, but they read short, punchy articles designed to titillate, enrage, or stroke the ego while they sit on the toilet looking at their phones. However, as someone who pushes reading on the public, professionally, and as someone who writes books and hopes people might take to reading again, I have done the hard work of making Literature relevant again with these clickbait titles. In fact, I've taken the liberty of linking these titles to places where they can be purchased. Since my readership is so high, I'm pretty sure the folks at Amazon will be sending me a nice big check as a thank-you.

1. A White Boy stumbles across a Runaway Slave. His Reaction is Perfect!



2. A Man takes a Job on a Whaling Ship. What he thinks of the Captain will Blow Your Mind. 


3. A Tornado Sweeps Away a Girls House. Where it Takes her is Surprising!



4. A Man Survives the Bombing of Dresden. What He Has to Say About it is Hilarious!



5. Member of the One Percent is visited by three ghosts. What he learns from the third one is amazing.

 

6. THIS man think humans should have freedom of choice. God's reaction is a bit overboard. 

 

7. A Man with a Severe Learning Disability and his Friend are Looking for Work. The Kind of Animal They would like to Raise is Puzzling. 

 

Well, my work here is done! This alone probably did more for reading then my 14 years as a professor! You're welcome, progeny. 

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